no magic bean, no individual resolution, no single way forward.

In many ways, we find that reassuring as we move into a new year - it's a reminder that the next step may be as unique as each one of us.

It also soothes the anxious voice - not the one that we were born with but one that we inherited - that tells us we are missing something, and if we were only smarter / stronger / richer / thinner / more talented / more special we would have access to the secret of success.

There is something so tempting about the concept of a clean slate. Even at a time when we are recognizing just how much important, necessary change took place in 2020, the old idea of 'starting fresh' compels us. Yet over the years, we've seen again and again how forward motion works with mistakes and missteps, not in spite of them. And one way to combat the fear that mistakes are bad and we'll never recover from them is to integrate them into your progress (another way to think of that is through the metaphor of healing, which sister authors Emily and Amelia Nagoski do brilliantly with this broken leg analogy from Burnout: Secrets to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.)

Here's one way that we go about that: Acknowledge the pain, Consider the lesson, Forgive yourself, and Keep going.

After a painful mistake, I find that these different components recurring, and even skipping around, as I work through them. It might look something like this: Keep going, Keep going, Keep going, Consider the lesson, Acknowledge the pain, Consider the lesson, Acknowledge the pain, Keep Going, Forgive Yourself, Consider the lesson... but when I skip one entirely, I know I am in trouble. It means I might be at risk of perpetuating some harm that I haven't been willing to look at - because it was too painful, because I didn't have time, because it was confusing. 

Many of us will see some version of these four things in inspirational or educational messages as the New Year turns. On their own, they might feel tiresome, too much, or not enough. I like to think of them as a menu - like when you put out some nuts and some cheese and a little chocolate and some salty popcorn - they are all available inside you. Graze between them.

. . .

Next week, we are thrilled to feature Nicole Caruth, of Hustlewell as a guest writer. We'll also announce rules for entering an incredible giveaway to two individuals in need of 'a 30-day wellness plan that works for you'. Learn more about Hustlewell's Clarity Call here, and we'll see you next week to put your name in the hat. 

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In case you missed it before the holidays, check out our 2020 newsletter recap / Guide to Writing a More Equitable Job Post. We hope to share a more visual reference to these points in the coming months.

In food, justice, and food justice, 

Dor + Tay

photo by Christine Han for GFJ Stories