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BEFORE WE GET INTO IT . . .
we wanted to share a preface that discussion of food and cooking at a time when so many are deprived of the fundamentals required to cook and to eat, is conflicting, to say the least. Today, approximately two hundred and fifty thousand Gazans face imminent starvation. When we are overwhelmed with chaotic feelings of despair and rage, we remember that a painful world holds many lessons for those who will listen. Seeking to make sense of those lessons this morning, I heard a teacher ask, "When you are in a fierce place, can you be tender?"
We want to offer this week's newsletter in the spirit of being tender with ourselves and one another.
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In the first year of the Covid pandemic, I observed the big projects people were taking on...a renovation of a garage into a woodworking shop, or a guest room into an office space, or an office space into a crafting / maker studio...mixing bread from scratch, and building a wood-fired oven to bake it in....focaccia art...
All of these beautiful efforts, grand or smaller-scale, made me feel so very...tired. I wanted to do less of just about everything, except sit in the increasingly rare silence and solitude that I could find while sheltering at home with family. For perhaps the first time in my life, I was absolutely uninterested in cooking projects.
In the evolution of this fourth year of the pandemic, I feel - as in so many other things - that I did not return unchanged. Occasionally I have the urge to do a bigger kitchen project, but mostly I scrape through each week with the help of a few habits that make my cooking life more manageable.
I'll get into those below, but first I want to talk about why people cook less (besides global pandemics).
Have you ever come home from a long weekend or week's worth of vacation or traveling for work, during which you had no desire or no option to cook, and found yourself feeling defeated about the prospect of putting together your next meal? So much of cooking, for me, is habit, and even a small change in routine can spin me out of the wheel, and leave me feeling too stymied to run and jump back on. (I'm very curious to hear if some folks feel the opposite, and crave getting back into the kitchen after time away?)
What are some other reasons people don't cook, or cook less than they would like? Of course a lack of resources may be the primary challenge for many - whether it's a lack of access to ingredients, money, time, energy, or support. Because yes, everyone needs support when they are cooking, even for only one person - support in the form of teammates to take care of everything you can't do while cooking, or support to taste what you've made (I'm looking at you, toddlers, tweens, and picky adults). Support to do the parts you can't do, like bring you groceries, or reach tall shelves. Support to encourage you to begin, or to inspire you about where to begin.
Another thing support can do is allay fear. In February's cookbook conversation, fear was one barrier to cooking that we heard from readers about, and it feels like a big one. The fear of getting it wrong has high stakes in the kitchen, because of that aforementioned time and money and energy that goes into it. Plus the resulting waste if you can't or don't want to eat what you've made. Before waste is even a possibility, there's the fear of beggining - that question of, "I don't actually know how to cook, so how can I cook?"
We're going to delve further into fear on a future week, and we'd love to hear your questions or thoughts on kitchen fears, and anything else that makes you want to cook less - including what bothers you about cooking less, and what feels really good or relieving about it.
The thing about my habits for cooking less, and making that more manageable in my household, is that they help me to cook more. They make it possible for me to do something I enjoy, that makes me feel connected to my values, saves me money, and provides countless hours of therapeutic time working with my hands to produce something that nourishes myself and others. At those times when I feel defeated by the thought of cooking, these are some habits and rituals make it possible for me to cook more by doing less:
/ meal planning: one day a week, I write out the upcoming meals for the week on a piece of paper, and keep it by the stove. I make a point to note down any big energetic drains that day, such as an evening meeting, or the absence of one of the adults in our household, so that I can schedule an easier meal for that night. Although meal planning helps us save quite a lot of money, and reduce a tremendous amount of waste, the biggest felt benefit of it is that I don't feel panicked circa 3pm when I think 'what's for dinner?'
/ if meal planning sounds intimidating - for a whole week, or even for just one day - this habit is for you: I'll call these...Resistance meals. Resistance to the idea that you have to make multiple dishes to call it dinner. Resistance to meeting the expectations of others. Resistance to high effort over the simple pleasure of feeding yourself and your family through a focus on ease and sensory delight. Some examples: baked potatoes (you can put just about anything you have in the fridge on top of them, and change up the type of potato you use) or nachos (very fast). When my 12 yo was little, we read the Fancy Nancy books together, and in the heat of summer when I couldn't bear to turn on the oven, I made 'parfaits' for dinner: yogurt with a variety of toppings from the fridge or pantry. Similarly, I rolled out something I call 'European dinner', which is: bread and butter with fruit (and maybe some cheese if your child eats cheese). Et voila. What's your Resistance meal du jour? (I'll never forget my stepmom relaying a childhood meal - that a friend shared with her - of eating strawberry shortcake for dinner in the summertime. That sounded like a household I could relate to.)
/ take a day, or half a day, to do a kitchen project with a friend or family member. It can be ambitious - like the time I made mole sauce with Raquel, or beet ravioli and poppy seed butter with Kate - or it can be about volume, like making twice as many dumplings that you can each take home to freeze.
Speaking of support through community with others, we're looking forward to sharing more next week on an idea that's been marinating for some time: a cookalong. Meanwhile, send us your ideas for how to cook more by cooking less.
In community,
Tay + Dor
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tidbits...
resources on anti-racism, environmentalism and food culture AKA stuff we're reading / listening to / watching / noticing / thinking about / captivated by this Tuesday . . .
"the job is not to know; it’s to become." - Rebecca Solnit on the radical nature of slowness.
Vu Le offers an excellent summary of why it's essential to communicate salary information - and debunks myths used to justify concealment - on Nonprofit AF.
The Spiritual Ecology Conference will take place at London's St. Ethelburga's Centre for Reconciliation and Peace on June 29. Learn more and apply to attend.
Culinary Historians of New York presents: Persian Culinary Manuscripts: From Legends to Cuneiform Tablets to Cookbooks with Nader Mehravari, via Zoom on Monday, March 18.
Soul Fire Farm is offering three different immersion programs this summer for BIPOC participants. Learn more and apply.
In this episode of the Kitchen Shrink, advice on how to cook by not cooking.
The Lakota People's Law Project has organized a petition to change racist place names across the United States.
View and share this free guide to How to Write a More Equitable Job Post, and stay tuned for new resources to deepen this work.
"Plenty has been written about the economic impact of the pandemic on the food industry, but not enough about its lingering effects on the bodies of people whose mission is to nourish us." Read the latest GFJ Story on the creator behind Anjali's Cup, with words by Nicole J. Caruth and photos by Christine Han.
got a tidbit? drop it here for us and we'll share it in next week's newsletter.
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